On The Way

So this has been a long time coming. 

I'm sure by now if you've been reading the previous few posts you'll know I'm expecting again :)  This pregnancy has been very different from the first.  For starters, I actually have pregnancy symptoms this time around!  The first time, except for the growing bump, I had no symptoms whatsoever.  No morning sickness, no nausea, no cravings, no aversions, no fatigue, etc. (altho Jon says I'm so greedy all the time it's hard to tell whether I'm having cravings or not ;) ). 

This time, I experienced some nausea, especially when I was ill.  I hated that wanna-puke feeling!  I also had some aversions.  I normally eat all kinds of veggies and have always loved spinach, but for some reason, I suddenly just couldn't stomach even the thought of eating the bayam variety.  It made me feel nauseous just thinking about eating it.  And the weirdest thing?  Water made me feel like puking.  Yes, water.  I could drink an entire glass of juice/soft-drink/any flavoured beverage.  But a few sips of water made me feel like throwing up.  At Shan's wedding I was supposed to deliver a speech and was feeling cold (and nervous), so drank some warm water...which ended up making me feel nauseous.  I was quite worried that I would actually puke on the podium!  Thank goodness that didn't happen.  It would surely have been a speech to remember.

Then there was the fatigue in the first trimester.  I just felt so tired everyday!  Needed to have a nap each day before picking Asher up from school. 

Thank goodness things have gotten better, and I can give Asher more of my time and energy. 

But I think that among the best things that resulted from this pregnancy was having Asher finally sleep through the night again.  He managed to do so from about 2-4 months old, but suddenly just stopped that good habit and woke up repeatedly every night.  At it's worst Asher was waking as many as 12 times a night - that's more than twice an hour.  And I had already gone back to work at that point.  I was frustrated and at a loss over what to do.  I half-guessed it was because Asher was at that time still breastfeeding, and was trying to wean him off his night feedings, which he nutritionally did not need.  It was nursing simply for comfort's sake.  Even then, when I had managed to get it down to one night feed, and eventuallly just the 530/6am feed, he still woke up that many times a night.  Maybe he was always still hoping for a comforting nurse?  Prayed and prayed, hoping for a miracle. 

Then I found out I was pregnant and had to stop breastfeeding.  And then he started to magically sleep through the night again!  Oh, the joy!  Tempered by the fact that in the first trimester you tend to wake up frequently to head to the loo, but still, I woke up much less often than 12 times a night!!! 

So Asher's breastfeeding journey went something like this:

• Nov 08 - May 09: Exclusive breastfeeding (BF)
• Mar 09: BF + very very occasional expressed breastmilk (EBM) from a cup just to get him used to it (he never took to the bottle)
• May 09: BF + introduced cereal (used EBM)
• Jun 09: BF + supplementing with formula milk (FM) when making cereal
• Jul 09: Back to work.  BF + EBM from sippy cup + FM for 1 milk feed a day at infantcare
• Sep 09: BF + EBM from straw cup + FM for 1.5 milk feed a day at infantcare (1 feed was mixed with EBM)
• Oct 09 - Jan 10: BF (gradually reduced feeds to only before sleep, at night, & first feed in morning) + EBM + FM
• Feb 10 - May 10: BF (before sleep, at night, & first feed in morning, gradually reducing the number of BF feeds starting with the pre-sleep one) + FM (stopped expressing completely)
• May 10: Stopped breastfeeding completely.  FM only.

So in total breastfed Asher for about 1.5 years.  I have this feeling that with the second kid, I may not breastfeed for quite a long cos it'll be tough to devote that amount of time to him without neglecting Asher.  I will probably end up expressing earlier too, something I find an absolute chore doing, but I think I may find to be necessary in order to have enough time for both children.

Now we're in the midst making arrangments for Baby, and trying to prepare Asher for the arrival of his sibling too.  So far he seems to be taking well to the idea in concept, but of course, things will be quite different when reality hits.  I'm just hoping to make it as easy as possible for him. 

In the meantime, I try to continue spending as much time as I can with Asher, to make sure he knows I love him so much, whether in word or in deed.  I hope he feels secure and loved.  I can only try my best. 

At the same time, I do wonder what it will be like to have a second child.  I think that to some extent it will require deliberate attention on our part.  I'm sure we'll love our child, but as a newborn, he won't be as responsive and engaging as a toddler.  Just thinking about Asher, the most fun times are now!  We'll have to make sure to give enough attention to our little baby while not neglecting Asher.  I'm hoping to involve him in caring for Baby, like with getting diapers, sponging Baby in the bath, maybe show Baby pictures in books...not sure what else.  Currently, in concept he is quite keen to hold Baby's hand in the car, and bring Baby to see the animals in the zoo.  I hope that his good feelings will continue after Baby comes. 

But I am a little worried cos Asher is still very attached to me, so I'm not sure how he'll take to sharing Mummy when Baby comes.  Again, I can only try my best.